It all comes down to this . . .

We had a beautiful Christmas. It was just white enough, just cold enough, and had just enough family, friends and food to make it just right. David and I looked for meaningful ways to balance the commercialism with the meaning behind the holiday, and we tried hard to not spoil the children. We baked cookies, made gingerbread houses, went to parties, participated in service projects, and even put some lights up outside this year. We also held our annual "shepherd's dinner" in which we dressed in robes and ate flatbread and fish (among other things) with our fingers out of tin pans while sitting on the floor around a fire. We had a good time.

In all seriousness, I am certain that the kids will not remember any significant amount of it . . . with one exception: THE MONEY GRAB. Grandpa Hale has created a tradition that stands alone. It is talked about all year long among the cousins, and they share with each other their best tips and strategies as well as their excitement about trying again next year. The money grab is this: Grandpa first offers each grandchild the opportunity to choose $1 per year of their age OR the chance to get two fistfuls of coins out of a vase. (Nobody chooses the dollars for your age thing.) Then, each grandchild in turn gets a chance to fill their fist with money--the trick is that if your fist is too full, the fist won't be able to exit the vase! Also, if the coins are piled too high then they will spill onto the floor and do not count toward the total winnings.

Personally, I hated the money grab from its very beginning over 5 years ago. All due respect to grandpa and the kiddos, but it is awfully worldly for a holiday so sacred. Over time, however, I've warmed up to it. When I stop analyzing it I can see that it is just plain fun. It is a great memory that our kids will have forever of their Grandpa. Besides, who can argue that it is impersonal? We have a great time playing, joking, and encouraging the little greedy grabbers as they line up for their turns at the shiny, money-filled vessel. It is definitely a step above a greenback stamped with Lincoln's image and stuffed into a card!

I've gotten over my worry that the tradition will ruin their lives and turn my children into money-hungry fiends. You know the old adage from Freud: sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. That's it. Now sometimes I wish I was one of Grandpa's kids and could have my chance at the game.

Thoughts On the Temple

Heaven just wouldn't be heaven without my family there!  

Our family went through the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house a couple of weeks ago.  This is not a frequent opportunity, in fact it is only the second time our kids have had the opportunity to go inside in their lifetimes--and amazingly both times have been this year.  It is beautiful inside!  As we walked through the silent tour, we saw simple and elegant furnishings, heartwarming art and murals, beautiful plays of light on prismatic chandeliers and mirrors that were adjusted so that when we looked in them, we saw our reflections go on forever.  Above all, we were able to feel the good spirit that prevails there.  It is a safe feeling, one of peace and refuge.  As a thunderstorm literally blustered around us . . . and Moroni was hit by lightning while we were there . . . the inside was so quiet and calm that we had no idea it was anything else outside.  

I have to admit that I have taken the temple for granted until recently.  At the last conference church leaders invited us to serve in the temple more frequently and more sincerely.  It was the week after we moved, and I was unpacking the kitchen as I listened to a touching message from Elder Richard Scott who related how attending the temple has helped him in recent years.  Elder David Bednar promised that regular, meaningful attendance would give us literal protection and help us become better people.  I decided that I was going to attend more often.  I wanted to test it out, I suppose.  Easier said than done with a large, young family.  Since then, I have been going 2-3 times a month (instead of once every month or two), and I have noticed a change.  I have always worked on controlling my hot temper . . . especially with my kids and husband . . . and always considered it to be an aspect of self-control.  But since serving in the temple more, my temper has changed.  Even David has noticed a difference.  The interesting thing is that I don't feel like I have better self-control, I simply don't feel a need to lose my temper in the first place!  It is easier for me to see which things are worth being upset about . . . and how best to express that.  I also see how special each child is when I look at them and listen to their explanations and stories.  I am developing a better perspective, and gaining a conviction that we are not our best selves without divine help.

 

:)

The Results Are IN

The State Finals of the Hershey's Track & Field is over.  We had a great time on our outing--5 hours (round trip) of reading, music, and joking around in order to get to the main event in Richfield, Utah.  Rachel placed 7th for Utah.  Although she is a bit disappointed, we are very proud of her.  Rachel ran 800 meters (1/2 mile) in 3:44.81 . . . shaving 4 seconds off her district finals time . . . even though she is recovering from the "piggy flu!"  In fact, yesterday we didn't think we were going, since Rachel had a fever until the late morning when it finally broke.  At dinner she announced  she wasn't going to miss it, and that was that.  I don't blame her . . . I wouldn't want to miss an opportunity like this one either.  

While we were there, we saw some great friends from our old neighborhood--a family who lived just a couple doors down.  It turned out that Rachel's friend Jacob was competing in the boys 800 m of the same age group.  He lifted her spirits just before the competition got underway.  They warmed up together and we cheered them both on as they raced by doing the wave and generally being loud and boisterous.  (A few pics of Jacob below--in the green shirt; also a photo of Sarah and Rebecca--they were so excited to see each other again!)

On the way home I started convincing myself that training isn't all that hard.  My daydreams included muscles that burst with energy and speed that almost makes me fly.  Over my thoughts came the announcement from Jonathan, "I want to do track next year."  Hmmm . . . .  guess we better keep running!  

Unexpected Surprises!

Rachel Qualifies For State!

We are proud of Rachel for working so hard at track over the last couple of years.  Even though we didn't let her join a running club last year, she kept it on her mind and stayed active.  At our new school, PE generally consists of running laps around the school, and her teacher is an avid runner.  It easily rubbed off, and she has been improving her "personal best" a little at a time.  At the local Hershey's meet, she qualified to move on to district in the 400m, 800m, and long jump!  At the district meet last week, she did well in long jump, but missed qualifying by a couple of inches.  Immediately after her long jump, she ran 400m . . . and then less than 5 minutes later she ran 800m.  OUCH!  Surprisingly, she made the top 2 in the 800m, but not the 400m.  I guess that says something about her stamina.  She is invited to go to the state finals in Richfield tomorrow, and if she does well enough the next step is HERSHEY, PENNSYLVANIA, BABY!  

Critters

Yesterday at lunchtime, I looked out the window and saw a deer in the front yard--here's the proof.  She moved away when I started pulling the blinds up to get a good photo.  This isn't unusual here--we've seen over a dozen in the field to the East of us--but this is the first time I've seen one so close to the house.  However, Sarah told me she saw one on our patio the day before.  Two of the neighbors said that they used to come over to our house when it was vacant (for two years) and feed the deer here.  Hmmmm . . .  That's fun, but it also means we're going to have a difficult time getting rid of them . . . and landscaping or gardening will be a challenge.  What to do?  Enjoy the deer, I guess!

Home, Sweet Home

Hi guys!  I guess it's time to get back into the swing of things . . . I've spent too long with my head in boxes!  Here are a few pics of the new house.  We have NO landscaping, and don't plan on changing that for now.  We do have plenty of projects, though.  Since this home was never finished, we are doing a lot . . . from installing a sump pump, rain gutters, and a swamp cooler (until a/c becomes a priority) to screwing in socket covers and installing blinds.  David has done most of that while I have unpacked day after day . . . a household of 8 has a lot of STUFF!  

Actually, I am okay with the project thing.  This place is growing on me.  It feels more like  home the more we solve problems and improve the place.  I have made it clear that I am done moving.  David and I always leave the caveat that we will go wherever and whenever the Lord wants us to go, and that has always worked out for us.  And so, I hope He is listening:  I am done!  (Caveat still in place, but please don't notice it.) . . . I hope that's not too sac-religious . . . 

So anyway, are settling in.  Within a few weeks, Sarah, Rachel, and Rebecca were signed up for soccer.  (I didn't mean to, but it just fell into my lap after I connected with a college roommate down here and her hubby-coach invited Sarah and Rachel to play w/his daughters.)  Jonathan is finishing up his WOLF requirements for scouts with new den leaders just in time for his 9th b-day.  Also, a few local moms invited Ellie and me to participate in a neighborhood preschool . . . which will make my life easier.  I'll put my own teaching on the shelf for another year.  Jacob's a mite young still.  

Also, the kids were able to squeeze into testing for this district's advanced classes (ALPS).  The ALPS director is really great to work with down here, and has done a great job at helping me keep all the kids at the same school, even though some are "ALPS" and some aren't.  They even started working toward the IB and MYP programs closer to our home, and Sarah will be part of that!  Hooray!  It's all working out.

More updates later . . . 

Schools, Technology, and more IB

I was invited to attend an all-day technology conference for our school district yesterday. It was designed to share ideas about how to use available technology in the classroom, and I was there as a "community council" member--a parent who is involved in the schools and used as a sounding board and resource to communicate about school programs and policies. I was amazed at how much teaching tools have changed in the dozen years that I have been home. The technology classes I took in my last years as a college student didn't even mention the things that are available now. I spent all day (about 6 hours of presentations) and only saw the basics. This could have been a three day conference, and if we had learned all the tutorials, it would have turned into weeks. WOW.

Above is pictured one of our many cabable and talented presenters, Bonnie Burgeous of Clearfield High School. I chose to highlight Bonnie because she is teaching at the International Baccalaureate program that I will have my kids be a part of. There were all kinds of presentations yesterday, and a variety of uses from kindergarten through high school--all of the presenters are teachers within our school district. Rather than summarize, I'll just hand you this one article and links on some things Bonnie is doing with her students.

Standard Examiner Article, December 12, 2008
CLEARFIELD -- Bonnie Bourgeous watched her own children play "Rock Band," and realized it was the perfect vehicle to teach her students about respiratory and heart rates.

"It's fun to watch them," Bourgeous said. "There is a high interest in it and it does meet the core objectives: the respiratory system and student involvement."

This type of activity is nothing new for students of the Clearfield High School biology teacher.

Bourgeous, who also teaches advanced placement biology at Northridge High School for two periods on A days, recently received the Governor's Medal for Science and Technology in science education. She received the award because she includes technology in her classroom as often as possible.

Bourgeous received a 21st Century Classroom award, which paid for items such as the interactive white board in her classroom, laptops for her students to use and venier probes that allows them to conduct water experiments.

"Don't forget to start the data collection," she said to the students who were getting ready to play "Guitar Hero."

One of the students was hooked up to a heart rate monitor. The monitor was hooked up to a laptop so students could see immediately what the heart and respiratory rate was.

"It hurt," said Lindsey Freeman. "The others weren't as sporadic as mine. Either it was because mine (heart monitor belt) was really, really tight, or I was excited."

Bourgeous has taught at Clearfield High School for the past four years and before that she taught math at West Point Junior High School.

"I love biology because it is about life," Bourgeous said. "And science is more hands-on than math."

Hands-on is what her students said they like about her classes.

"She's a brilliant teacher," Freeman said. "Sometimes too brilliant. We have to tell her to slow down."

Bourgeous started her respiratory section by bringing in a cow's heart and lungs for the students to dissect.

Chandler Farr carried the tray with the heart and lung in from another classroom.

"She explained the respiratory system, and then she gave us each a knife and told us to go at it and have fun," Farr said.

Amanda Takaes said the dissection "was really gross, but it was really cool to see how it all went together."

Jordan Brandley is working on an extended essay and chose biology as his topic.

Bourgeous let Brandley check out a laptop and a heart rate monitor at the beginning of the year so he could test what heat did to runners.

He recorded his mother, father and brother running on a treadmill. Now he is gathering data.

When asked if his family were runners, Brandley said, "They are now."

Brandley said Bourgeous allows students to come up with their own ideas and hypothesis when conducting experiments.

"She guides us, but won't tell us what to do," Brandley said.

Matt Tse said Bourgeous is one of the most "creative" science teachers he has had.

"She gives us the materials and has us make up our own labs," Tse said. "She's there to ask for help when we need it."

Four words: Inspiring. Meaningful. Challenging. FUN!

Kudos to all those teachers who are revising their classrooms and daily lesson plans, and using new innovations to enhance the students' engagement.

Life Just Got Easier

This pretty much sums it up for the past couple of weeks. Project after project after project after project after . . . .

Life just got a whole lot easier tonight. We are all done with the grand finale of elementary projects--Science, History, and "I Search." And we survived. You know, I've realized that it doesn't matter how much you stand back and let the kids "do it themselves," it is still a big event for the whole family to get just one of these done. Having four due this time around made it that much more exciting. I think we all deserve medals. And a big party.

During one impromptu trip to the home-improvement store to buy legal hazardous chemicals for the science project, I happened upon a wonderful solution to the eyesore of my home--wallpaper. On clearance. (I know I'm on a tangent . . . just stick with me for a moment.) Mind you, I HATE wallpaper. Mainly because I am always the one coaxing it off of the walls of the homes we buy. I had one very ugly corner of the kitchen that I've wanted to change since we moved here, yet I didn't want to start tearing it off just now. However, when I happened upon the perfect wallpaper for the perfect price . . . well, I decided to try my own experiment. . . . and it worked! My deep green wall with purple raspberries and brown baskets tiled all over the walls has turned into a very calm cream color with texture and just enough depth to hide the evil behind it. Yippee! I have not always been a goose person, but the border helped blend the colors of the existing tile from the rest of the kitchen and add interest for the wall. For under $20, I found new decor to go with it, and now have a corner I can live with! M'honey even jumped on the bandwagon and got me a light fixture that works so much better than the single can light that used to be there. Oh, what bliss! We can see our food!

I just have to laugh at such little things that keep me happy. Life is good.

The M-Word

We are not saying the m-word yet, but it will come soon. We actually DID slip and say the word a week ago, at which time there were a few tears and general sulking. None of us are particularly enthused to leave our home and friends. Actually, I had anticipated staying here until all the kids were grown and my knees told me it was time for a "rambler", so I am still trying to convince myself that this is all okay. Indeed, I'm trying really hard to make myself look forward to it.

The key is not to think about boxing, taping, marking and arranging every detail and trinket in our home and saying goodbye to special neighbors, among other things. I was actually having some success by not thinking in general about it.

That all changed today when I saw a neighbor moving out. I stopped to chat. I thought nothing was selling and that there was no hope, so we shouldn't worry about it for a few more months. You know, all the media hype about a terrible housing market crisis etc. and declining home sales, had me convinced we might actually be here in five more years--and if that long, then maybe forever.

Back to the story. I stopped to chat. He told me that his house is about the same price range as ours. He had the house on the market for only 2 months (the worst time of the year to sell, at that). It sold for full asking price. He had three offers on the table before he accepted one. After all this, I told him, "Wow." What more is there? Could he really be living in the same era I am? Everything on the news is doom and gloom. Yet, here he was with a success story, and hope that there were more buyers out there. Not of my faith, he humbly admitted that he was truly blessed. I was impressed. Maybe blessings could be catching. If they follow hope, then they definitely are contagious, because he gave me hope.

I am hoping for a quick and painless sell, a smooth transition to a home we will enjoy for a long time, good neighbors to get to know, and a private area we can give to my parents as perpetual guest quarters just for them. In our price range. Asking too much? I don't know, but I can hope!

So anyway, we won't say the m-word just yet, but it will be coming soon. For now, our kids are being told that we are painting, sprucing, washing, and rearranging just because that is what we do as responsible homeowners. They don't need to know that we aren't naturally this responsible. :)

Life Sucks, Kinda

For several days I've thought about giving a summary of 2008, but didn't do it. Why not? because it sucked, and I'm glad it's over . . . and not particularly enthused about recounting it. However, I have come to the conclusion that I should bottle it up, put it here on the shelf, and stop thinking about it. So here goes.

So much has happened, it will be difficult to summarize in this short space. It would be nice if we could have you over to enjoy a meal with us and catch up with each other. Then we could tell jokes every now and then and have comic interruptions from the kids.

Most of this year has been spent worrying about one thing or another. We all have difficult years, and this year it was our turn. Our main difficulties came via two drawn-out events. First of all, my brother, Dana, passed away after suffering with a brain tumor for over a year. It was a long and difficult journey as we did what we could to express our love and connect with him as much as possible before he was gone. I must pause here to testify that I know that life goes on beyond this existence. David and I have had some choice experiences since Dana’s passing, and know that his spirit is still alive and well, and that his family connection with us is just as real now as before. There is a plan and purpose to our life, and one day we will understand all the details. For now, it is enough to know that God is real and our Spirit continues on to Him after death.

Our second difficulty was more temporal, and seems trivial in comparison. David’s office is moving about 40 minutes south soon, turning his bearable commute into something he doesn’t want to put up with. When we got the news in June, we decided to try to sell our home and get settled in the south end of the Salt Lake valley as soon as possible. In two weeks, our home was sold for full price . . . or so we thought. Through a convoluted series of events, we had the house and garage completely packed before the buyer postponed a couple of days before closing. Twice. We waited for him to get things in order--just a couple of weeks, he said, then he announced that he couldn’t make the purchase at this time. After the pre-made casseroles were gone, I unpacked the pots and spices. Later, I unpacked the school things for the kids. Finally, I unpacked it all and decided we should make ourselves comfortable until the spring. We will list our home again in a couple of months, but for now . . . we are happy to stay for a while longer. It has been a distinct blessing to stay here with our network of friends and family close-by to help us through this year.

Even though I feel like these two events took up the entire year, it is not true. I think it's just because they caused so much commotion and stress that it's like I continue to look at them as if I'm using a magnifying glass . . . and that's my entire year. I gained at least 30 pounds while looking through that stupid magnifying glass. I'm starting to growl, just thinking about it!

Thankfully there are a few good things going on, too. I cleared out a bedroom and made space for long term visits from my parents--one more step in the long process of inviting them to spend more time with us. David continues to enjoy his work, and is grateful for the great environment he works in. I am busy at home, and am SSSSOOO grateful that David agrees I should be here. (Things just run so much smoother this way!)

Also, our kids are doing great things at school and in life. Unfortunately, I'm not comfortable posting all the particulars about them, since this is a public site--even though no one reads it, but still, ya never know. In general terms, they continue to amaze and impress us with their desires and talents. It looks like we will soon have one learning to play the organ (yes, organ). We got another a dog, and it has proven to be one of the best therapies we could have ever chosen. Another has seen prayers answered in meaningful ways. A fourth is lined up to skip a grade in school at the end of the year, and the young ones keep us all entertained.

So, I feel dopey by telling how bad this year was for us, especially when I don't have to look too far to find other people struggling in varied and equally difficult ways. To sum it up, I guess I need to put in the clause "kinda". Good riddance to 2008. Life there sucked, kinda. I'm looking forward to a clean slate and a year that ends with 9, totally.

Kids and Money

We recently sat all of our children down for a family council. Actually, this was not the first time, and it isn't as serious as it sounds. Usually we just talk about what's going on lately and what projects we'll be working on that day. This one was a tad different. We had a mini lesson on money. I decided to see where the kids were at with this topic, and was not disappointed.

After a quick warning that I didn't want any jokes from the children (absolutely necessary) I began, "What do you think every child should know about money?"

My four year old was first to answer, "How to count it!"

"Thank you, sweetheart. Who's next?"

My 8-year-old son raised his hand higher and higher, with a big mischievous grin. I ignored him and asked the first-grader for input.

"How to spend it!" She said, satisfied.

"Yes, I guess that's true. What else?"

The 8-year-old appeared to be almost ready for lift-off, his hand was so high. His grin was wider, too, and included the eyes. I tentatively called on him with a warning, "Jonathan, remember I said NO JOKING AROUND." His arm decided it could stay earthbound. He knows most of the answers, but without a joke he was speechless.

I decided to call on Rachel. In her 10-year-old wisdom she got to the topic, "How to save it."

Rachel gave me the answer I was looking for, but I realized that all of the answers were good. They need to learn how to keep track of it, use it (carefully, I hope), and save it. David and I decided we needed to do something when we saw the older kids frequently use all of their money on chocolate and gum. (I guess it can't be all bad, though. Now they know the difference between Godiva and Hersheys!) So anyway, we are going to attempt to teach money management. That means bank accounts, regular chores, and charts, among other things.

Now that I'm writing this, I realized that we skipped the part about how to earn it. Don't worry. Sarah tells me she had this figured out long ago when she was three. "We find it in the parking lot."

Yikes. We have some work to do. :)

Snow Love/Hate

These pictures are several months old, but when I see the snow, I think of these scenes. Our winter isn't as wet and cold so far this year--last year the snow kept piling up without much of a thaw. We had a constant blanket about 18" deep covering our yard, and the piles from shoveling were 4' high. We loved it, and hated it. Mostly, we hated it because we had just gotten rid of our snow blower (since we rarely used it in the two previous years). Our backs were perpetually aching, and we were tired from getting up early to clear the paths. David's car bumper cracked when he high-ended on the ice at the bottom of the driveway one morning and had to dig him out (of ice). It was not fun.

That said, as this winter's snow season reaches halfway, I find myself wishing we would get last year's snow amount again. Our backs are stronger now, and we are ready with "ice-melt" for the sidewalks. We even bought a couple more shovels for the up-and-coming kid power we have to help us. What I miss most was the fabulous sledding run we scooped out in the front yard--it was the wonder of the neighborhood, and since Santa brought snow tubes that year, we had plenty and to spare for the neighbor kids. The run started at the top of the inclined driveway . . . and at the peak of the snow pile. It raced down the drop of our front yard and met the sidewalk. The sidewalk had been cleared for the first several snow storms, but later on we let the snow stay and become slick . From there, it scooped and turned to the right, following the sidewalk down to the end of the cul-de-sac, a good 50 yards--we would exit the run at the neighbors' driveway two houses down at the end of the cul-de-sac. (The icy sidewalk only worked because the next-door neighbors were gone for the winter, and no one really used that sidewalk) It felt much like a bobsled run, with the high walls of snow on either side of the sidewalk. What a rush!

This year, we tried to recreate it with only minimal success so far. We get TO the sidewalk just fine, but the rest of the ride is a series of tummy crunching hops . . . um that won't work for long. My abs are aching a week later. So, with all seriousness I must say that we NEED more snow. Forget the high-elevation snow pack, the resevoir levels, the need to end the drought . . . all of those reasons are also valid for wanting snow, however, we have true need right here in our yard.

More Schools

As a postscript to the previous entry, I made some phone calls and found out that other Salt Lake area schools are in the works for creating a Middle Years Program, which will complement the existing IB programs down there. It looks like we are only a few years from having this option available to most citizens of Utah. Yay for us!

Found Some Great Schools

We love learning! Books are all over the house, and my son says he wants to be a "good mad scientist" when he grows up (he wants to have a candy store, too--another passion of his life). I have been researching every school alternative since well before my kids were born . . . I'm sure my intense interest in education is what led me to choose it as a career.

Before we knew David's office would be moving to the south end of the Salt Lake Valley, we had a charter school picked out, and I was getting acquainted with the principal and governing parent board there. When we had an offer on the house, I gave up our seats there . . . but I've wished I had waited until the deal was signed, since it fell through and we stayed another year. Until now.

I found an awesome middle and high school program yesterday! Actually, it found us. I am on a high and a low at the same time. International Baccaularete Middle Years Program (IB/MYP) We got a postcard inviting us to an information meeting, and after researching it I believe it really is the best alternative to the mainstream public schools I have ever seen--and it is run as a magnet school, meaning it is part of the existing school district, open to all and free! I am so stoked! Also, if the student passes his/her exams as a 12th grader, they instantly have 30 credit hours of college under their belt. ALSO the requirements to graduate exceed the minimum required to get the Utah Regents grant--free money that pays 75% of tuition costs for the first 2 years the student attends a university. How could this get any better????

I mentioned a low . . . the only place the middle years program is offered is here in our current district, about 20 minutes away . . . that's not so bad, but if we actually move then we will not be able to take advantage of this amazing find. If I hated having David around, it would be an easy choice: "Well, hon, you can just commute 3 hours a day . . . we need this for the kids." Unfortunately (fortunately) the kids and I miss him when he's gone, and we need him around more than just the weekends. So, we're still on track for putting the sign in the front yard this spring . . . and we'll see what the Lord decides. Good thing there's a wiser being out there who knows better than us. At least now I know the standard I'm looking for. Maybe I can get involved and help create this program down south. Or find a place that is already working on it, and help out.

I guess I'd call this a sour pickle.

Growing Up

My first memory is a very early one. I have no idea how old I was. We were at the beach, and I needed a place to sit and rest. "Come," my mother said. She was sitting cross-legged. "Sit in my chair." I remember sitting in the nook her legs made and feeling safe and happy.

With lightning speed, it seems, I'm the one trying to create a good experience for my own children. I've been thinking a lot lately about how fast my kids are growing up. I blinked once, I think, and our youngest daughter turned into a four year old. Soon my oldest will be TWELVE. I know that might not sound like a lot to some, but it means a lot to me. This will be a milestone. As a twelve-year-old, my firstborn will be branching out a lot more. Junior High is on the horizon, homework, friends, piano, twice-weekly youth group meetings will keep her busy, and she will gradually begin to spread her wings, and I will become--temporarily at least--a complete imbecile to her. . . My oldest is approaching the stage in which she thinks she's heard enough from me, and wants to try things out for herself. I will have limited opportunities to "wrap it up" and teach her what she needs to succeed. I have a lot of questions as we reach this milestone. My main question is, have I been a good Mom? I mean REALLY. I do most of the basics, but was I really there--in the moments? Did I spend enough of my time teaching her what she really needs to know? Did I say what I really wanted to say? Knowing how to keep her socks from turning her undies blue is not enough, and I know it.

As I grew, my mom taught me a lot. I can decorate any cake, sew or alter clothing, get up from a bad fall, and keep most any secret thanks to her tutelage. My own children aren't really interested in all that. Mostly, I think, they just want a good chair and someone to be there when they need to sit it out.

Just a Moment

I’m not sure where to begin. I promised myself that I would just start writing and see what happens. I think it's ironic that I'm making a go of this late at night . . . I am a morning person. Maybe that’s where I should begin.

I am a morning person. I get it from my Father, the fisherman, the farmer and dairy rancher’s son. I love to hear the birds sing and feel the fresh air of the early morning. There’s something about it that says “Get up! You’ll miss the opportunity if you wait! Catch me while you can!” What is THE opportunity? It’s the opportunity of the moment. I hate missing moments. Moments are the stuff of life. They are the things I miss when I sleep in, watch TV., spend too much time in the bathroom or tying my shoes. I want to collect every one of the them, and I’m always in a hurry because I’m anxious to get to the moment. How do I know a moment when I experience one? I just do. It’s how I feel when I’m in it—interactive, aware. I feel it in my head and heart. I just know it’s a moment that changes my life from meaningless to meaningful. One little moment at a time is how it works, at least most of the time. There are large moments, too. Like the large moment that I walked out of the back door of the Los Angeles temple on May 6, 1995. Arm in arm, David and I stepped through the enormous wrought iron doors and stood on the steps to greet our waiting family. David looked like Carey Grant with his gelled and parted hair, Roween told me later. “What’s your name?” my father, the humorist, called out to me. In that moment, as I took my breath to answer, I realized everything had changed. I brought my free hand to my hips and answered with gusto, “I’m Mrs. Hale!” What a moment! What a memory!

Most moments are little, though. They are often forgotten, and rarely included in a life history. However, it’s the little moments that make us who we are. They show how we spend our time, what we do or say in an instant. They can also be little course corrections that curve our path of life and turn things around. For good or bad, of course. Of course. A lot of little moments should be forgotten—mistakes are human. Some are worth holding on to remember, just so we remember the foul taste of it, and don’t include a part of it in the next moments. There are thousands of small moments I wouldn’t like to repeat, but I have fun remembering them. Kind of like a sour pickle. I’m sure I don’t want to have another one like that, but I inevitably do. There was a small moment like that a couple of days ago, but I’ll tell that one later.